Alice had seen only two futures for Bella

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Alice had seen only two futures for Bella, and now I understood them both.
Loving her would not keep me from killing her, if I let myself make mistakes.
Yet I could not feel the monster now, could not find him anywhere in me.
Perhaps love had silenced him forever.  If I killed her now, it would not be intentional,
only a horrible accident.
I would have to be inordinately careful.  I would never, ever be able to let my
guard down.  I would have to control my every breath.  I would have to keep an always
cautious distance.
I would not make mistakes.
I finally understood that second future.  I'd been baffled by that vision—what
could possibly happen to result in Bella becoming a prisoner to this immortal half-life?
Now—devastated by longing for the girl—I could understand how I might, in
unforgivable selfishness, ask my father for that favor.  Ask him to take away her life and
her soul so that I could keep her forever.
She deserved better.
But I saw one more future, one thin wire that I might be able to walk, if I could
keep my balance.
Could I do it?  Be with her and leave her human?
Deliberately, I took a deep breath, and then another, letting her scent rip through
me like wildfire.  The room was thick with her perfume; her fragrance was layered on
every surface.  My head swam, but I fought the spinning.  I would have to get used to
this, if I were going to attempt any kind of relationship with her.  I took another deep,
burning breath.
I watched her sleeping until the sun rose behind the eastern clouds, plotting and
breathing.
I got home just after the others had left for school.  I changed quickly, avoiding Esme's
questioning eyes.  She saw the feverish light in my face, and she felt both worry and
relief.  My long melancholy had pained her, and she was glad it seemed to be over.
? 2008 Stephenie Meyer