I know it's going to be bad for you

You know, Leah, you might want to think a little bit about the future, about what you really want to do.
My head is not going to be the happiest place on earth. And you'll have to suffer right along with me.

She thought about how to answer me. Wow, this is going to sound bad. But, honestly, it will be
easier to deal with your pain than face mine.

Fair enough.

I know it's going to be bad for you, Jacob. I understand that— maybe better than you think. I don't
like her, but... she's your Sam. She's everything you want and everything you can't have.

I couldn't answer.

know it's worse for you. At least Sam is happy. At least he's alive and well. I love him enough
that I want that. I want him to have what's best for him. She sighed. I just don't want to stick
around to watch.

Do we need to talk about this?

I think we do. Because I want you to know that I won't make it worse for you. Hell, maybe I'll even
help. I wasn'tborn a compassionless shrew. I used to be sort of nice, you know.

My memory doesn't go that far back.

We both laughed once.

I'm sorry about this, Jacob. I'm sorry you're in pain. I'm sorry it's getting worse and not better

Thanks, Leah.

She thought about the things that were worse, the black pictures in my head, while I tried to tune her out
without much success. She was able to look at them with some distance, some perspective, and I had to
admit that this was helpful. I could imagine that maybe I would be able to see it that way, too, in a few
years.